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Dust Jackets



Dust jackets are designed to protect books,

Yet for some reason the touch

Of their textile against my calloused skin

Urges me to recoil

And remove the offending papers

At the detriment of the books I hold so dear.



I find people often remind me of dust jackets.



There is something about them

So demeaning

And disregardable.

It’s easy to recognize the way they rub you wrong,

Irritating your skin and bones.



What is the most irksome

Is the fact that I know people aren’t horrible.

Dust jackets protect books

The same way a person’s personality protects themself.

While I find those personalities to be

A small piece of Hell,

The person behind them

I find I hold dear.



So while a dust jacket may be something easily removed,

Discarded,

I can’t say the same of people.



You can’t rip the life out of someone the same way

You might unfold a book from its covers

Despite the fact that you may spend years

Attempting the feat.



So my shelves remain half-covered

With half the books covered

And the other half exposed

To my life

And to dust.



And my phone remains half-filled

With numbers who haven’t called

And texts that are unanswered

As the people I love

Age and die

And turn to dust.



XVI



I’ve buried myself under the dusty covers

Of so many half truths

That when the pages are ripped from my spine

All that I will have

Is a blank piece of paper

Among the wreckage of what was my identity



So when my tongue is held tight to my cheek

The tarnished silver of second place

Biting against the soft of my lip

And my form

Aching listelessly against a rotating sky

I will lie among the strewn papers

And watch the wind sweep me away

As the world circles the living corpse

Of a child refusing to die



In the meantime I watch

the cigarette between my fingers

Singeing the ink that has stained my nails

Waiting beside my closest friends

Until I can no longer taste the smoke

that lingered in my throat



And I’m realizing

that nothing has ever been more human

Than missing the feeling of dying

on a sunny day

Next to the person you love